Loose Ends
by Caliko
Summary: No citrus or lemon, but some adult content. Hilde deals with her past.


I do not own GW. That privilege belongs to Bandai, and I make NO MONEY from this fic.

Also, though there is mention of 2XH, this is NOT a 2XH fic. It is a Hilde-centric fic about her life and her past.

****

Loose Ties  
By Caliko

When I was a child, I was the baby of the family - the little princess that was cuddled and protected. Then, war came, stripping my innocence with each sibling that went away. 

I remembered crying, holding onto Papa's hand as I watched Mama slip slowly into death, too heartbroken to fight the sickness that wracked her body when she knew that her eldest son was never coming home.

I remembered that first cold winter, trying desperately to take her place despite how young I was. I worked hard, cooking the meals and cleaning the house. Laundry was done outside in the machine on the porch, then hung on the line as I balanced precariously on the top step of a rickety stool. 

All I wanted was to make life easier for my father. If he was fed and clothed, and didn't have to walk through filth on the floor, well.. maybe then he could smile again. Maybe then, he would be happy, sleep through the night without waking up screaming at two o'clock.

Of course, my efforts were wasted. Papa didn't know what day it was, much less that his clothes were cleaned. Most days, he woke up and drank his breakfast in front of the fire, not stopping until it was time for dinner. Sometimes, he would nibble on a sandwich that I threw together with food donated from the neighbors, but he still never smiled. I don't think he knew what was going on around him, much less who I was.

My suspicions were confirmed when he started calling me by my mothers name. I was fourteen, and already as tall as she was. My face - a mirror of her youth, my hair the same glossy blue-black. Unable to afford new clothes, I had no choice but to wear hers, dreading the inevitable look that would come into his eyes when he noticed.

He never touched me like that, almost as if a part of him did recognize that I was his daughter, not his wife. Yet, a gentle touch on my arm or a hug from behind became my daily fear. It might not be sexual, per se... but it was definatly intimate. I suspected that one day, he would become bolder, and I began to live in fear that it would be soon.

I wrote my remaining brothers, asking them to come home. One by one, I received my letters back, stamped with phrases such as 'Location Unknown', or 'Deceased'. I knew then that I was on my own.

I knew that I had to leave, but I felt guilty of leaving my father alone. He was incapable of caring for himself, and I was the only one left. Yet, if I stayed, I would be pushed into a relationship that was wrong, forced into my fathers bed.

I did the only thing I could. One day, while Papa slept, I joined Oz. 

Of course I looked back, ashamed of my abandonment. I even stopped back at the house in my new crisp uniform, needing to make sure that he was alright. He looked blankly past my cropped hair and militant form, not seeing anyone there that he recognized. It was at that point, that I realized that he was already with Mama. 

Oh, not in body. Breath still wracked his lungs, and alcohol still pickled his blood, but he was with Mama just the same. He just didn't realize that he was still alive yet. When he did, I had every confidence that he would fix that.

I turned and walked away, stopping only at the local police station to report him for neglect. The officers promised to bring him in, have him committed so that he would receive the help he so desperately needed. If it kept him alive, got him some help, then I did the right thing. I kept telling myself that as I boarded the shuttle for L2, hoping that soon, I might believe it.

After basic training, I was sent to work in the recruiting office, encouraged to brag about how much my life had improved since I joined. My schedule was fairly simple to remember. Monday mornings were spent on the pistol range with my team, then lunch before going out in the colony to hand out flyers and recruit soldiers. Tuesdays and Thursdays were much the same, except I spent the mornings in pilot school. Wednesday and Friday mornings were Martial arts, while Saturday was dedicated to academics. Sunday, of course, was the traditional day of rest. 

For the first time in a long time, I had order in my life. I was told what to do, and I wasn't forced to scrounge around for my basic needs. I was actually happy learning how to be a soldier, and finishing my high school education on the side!

Which makes it harder to understand why I gave it all up for a braided idiot with a cocky grin.

When I first saw Duo Maxwell, I knew that my life would never be the same. Yeah, I know. It sounds cheesy. Sue me, but it's also the truth. His eyes.. god... they were full of curbed passion just waiting to be let loose. His long hair easily reached his buttocks, even half-tamed in that long, sinful braid. He smiled, watching as if he had a secret he was dying to tell, lazing around in a colony that prided itself on it's hard work. Of course, that wasn't the strangest detail about him. For some reason, the boy also wore a priests collar.

I remember thinking, "What a waste of a sexy grin." Of course, catching my look, he quickly reassured me that he would never, could never be a priest. He just didn't have it in him to serve that way.

Blushing and stammering, I did my little recruitment number, not quite sure if I heard him actually come out and say it! He was so confident in himself, acting as if he knew that I was wondering what lay underneath that black shirt!

After he signed, I went back to the barracks, still blushing, still stammering, and dreaming of his gorgeous violet eyes.

That was three years ago, and now, I'm actually living with the cocky brat. Of course, by now, he's pretty much rid me of my blushing shyness, not giving in until I responded as strongly to him as he did to me. 

We talked about everything, discussing who we thought was attractive, and whether we would invite someone else into our bed. Nothing was taboo - the only rule of the game being honesty.

I was shocked to discover that he was attracted to both Heero and Wufei, but hadn't approached either. He said that there was a certain feeling of brotherhood between the pilots, and you just didn't seduce your brother. 

Of course, then, he had to know who I was attracted to. I bit my lip, hoping that he wouldn't push it, but.. well.. this is Duo we're talking about. Of course he pushed it. I finally admitted that I wouldn't mind being sandwiched between him and Zechs Marquis. 

After he stopped choking, he hugged me, loudly thanking whatever deity might actually exist that Zechs was dedicated to Noin.

I smiled, knowing that Duo's jealousy would never allow him to share. He had too much taken from him during his life to ever risk what we had. He couldn't even stand me to be out of his sight for more that a week or so. Sweeper missions were put off as long as possible, until his co-workers would finally drag him off hogtied to his bed. On these occasions, I couldn't help it. I found myself laughing until my stomach hurt, chasing after him with a plate full of pancakes and a fork loaded with the syrupy mess. 

With practice, even Duo learned how to eat tied to a bed.

This, of course, brings me to this moment, when I looked up from my desk in the garage to meet a pair of blue eyes that I knew I should have recognized. Standing, I circled the battered workspace, and waited for him to come to me. 

He walked closer, slowly appraising my neat appearance from the top of my short hair to the bottom of my favorite purple jeans. 

"Hilde Schbeiker?" He asked, stopping in front of me, with his jet black head tilted sideways to reveal a strangely familiar smile. 

"Maxwell." I corrected, taking his hand. "I have recently married." Squinting, I leaned back, still trying to place his face. "Do I know you?"

"Yes." He smirked, insolently taking the seat in front of my desk. He propped his feet up next to my monitor and reached into his pocket to take out a pack of gum. 

It was then, as he nonchalantly placed the stick into his mouth, that I realized who I was talking to.

"Timothy..." I whispered, slowly reaching out to touch his face. 

"Hello, Little Sister." His smile grew wider, then stilled as he pushed a bubble out past his lips. Popping it, he inhaled the pink sticky mass and began to chew again. "So, why wasn't I invited to the wedding, and when to I get to kick his ass for daring to touch my baby sister?"

"I thought you were dead. No one knew where you were, Tim. I looked for you since the end of the war! I even hacked into Preventer HQ so that I could peek at your war record! You still were listed M.I.A., your last location unknown!"

"Ah, Sis.. I'm sorry about that." He pulled me down into his lap, cuddling me close to his chest as the tears came. 

My shoulders shook with confusion, each quake ripping another part of my pride away from my body. Angered, I beat at his chest even as I cuddled closer. 

"Where have you been?" I sobbed, meeting his eyes. 

"Hilde, I don't want you to know." Timothy looked away, embarrassed. "It's not a pretty picture, Love."

I stood up and walked to the service door. Flipping the sign around to 'closed' I turned the lock and motioned for him to go upstairs. 

Once there, I turned the kettle on and got out two mugs and some lunchmeat for a sandwich. 

"I need to know, Tim. Where have you been?" I asked again, not taking my eyes from his. 

He began to make a sandwich so that his hands would be busy. I remembered well how he could never concentrate unless his hands moved.

"I ran from the military and faked my death." He announced, defiant, as if he expected me to be shocked. "I realized early on, that Oz was full of unrealistic ideals, and that they were no better than the alliance we were breaking free from. Hilde, I had no way of supporting myself legally."

"What did you do, Tim?" I encouraged, my voice flat. I was not about to condemn him for doing the same thing I did, but I needed to hear the rest of his story.

"Anything that would bring me money, Sis. Anything from theft to smuggling. Murder, once, but it was in self-defense. I didn't know where to find you, and I wasn't ready to face the family yet. I didn't even know that they were gone until last month."

I nodded, still not too shocked. After all, wasn't I married to a master thief? One that has also killed when the need arose? And, how could I hold it against him for not checking up with his family. Didn't I abandon my own father?

"Say something, Hilde!" He demanded, his voice tense with worry. "Tell me how horrible I was to run from my post, at least!"

"Tim, I mutinied against Oz myself, to the point where I helped a wanted 'war criminal' escape. I was tried for treason with a jury of my peers, and only the fact that I was fifteen years old helped me escape my fate. They said that I was too young for my responsibilities, and gave me a dishonorable discharge."

"You were in Oz?" He blinked, then noticed the pictures on my end table. Picking one up, he blinked faster, then pointed to Duo. "Isn't that..."

"Hmmm... my war criminal husband, Duo Maxwell." I walked up behind him, and hugged his waist. "Life isn't black and white, Brother. Sometimes, we can only do what we can to survive, and hope that we can improve ourselves later." 

"You're not ashamed of me?" He asked, as if he didn't believe it. 

"You still don't listen, do you?" I smirked, shaking my head. "Look, Tim! How can I be ashamed of you for doing the same thing I did? How can I hold it against you for doing what you had to do, when it kept you alive to come home to me today? Don't be an idiot. Life is hard enough without you throwing hurdles at your own feet."

He started to sob, and I hugged him tight, rocking him too and fro like he used to do for me. He squeezed back hard, unable to stop holding onto me as hash gasps rose from his throat. 

I don't know how long we stood there, oblivious to all that was happening outside the four walls of the kitchen, but eventually, I looked up, and met the confused eyes of my husband.

"Welcome home, Duo. Come here! Meet my brother, Tim."

The End....

A/N - I have NO IDEA where this came from, or if it's any good. All I know, is that it's 1:00 in the morning, and I just finished writing what was supposed to be a 2xh. SURPRISE.. it's not. 

LOL.. I actually don't know how to categorize this one!

~Leeko


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